A Religion With No Name
Recently my niece asked if I would mind her interviewing me for her college religion class. She explained that the assignment was to interview someone who was not catholic or jewish and she really wasn’t sure who to ask but her mother, my twin sister, sent her my way. At first I was excited to be of help to her but then the realization of me talking about ‘religion’ began to sink in. It is not that I am against religion, I just strongly believe that one must develop their own spirituality outside the boundaries of organized traditions. For me, I found a different way of dealing with religion by studying and learning from different world religions, in particular the mystics, and then combined different tenets and traditions into my own. That path came from a genuine desire for understanding and a set of values that I didn’t find in a church or a spiritual institution.So with all of that – how could I bottle my faith into one secular religion to meet the requirements of this assignment? I struggled with this as I wanted to make sure that I was staying within the confines of my nieces’ assignment, but still speak what my truth is. Ultimately though I found this process to be a nice sidebar to what my daily work looks like. Interviews are funny, you know? They could be very task-oriented but this was a different kind of experience for me. The process – the interviewing and listening – sharing my beliefs with my niece – here were the rewards. The storytelling is what builds relationships, not only with us, but also with God…
Oh and if you are wondering – she received an A on her paper – that smart girl never disappoints.
How long have you practiced this religion? Were you raised in this religion or did you join later in your life?
I grew up in a nuclear family with a traditional roman catholic foundation and its values. I had a difficult time with religion and often did not want to attend church with my family. Sitting on the hard pews as a child was not a place I found God to be, instead I felt more connected to Spirit when I was out in nature. The strict “rules” of the church was something that brought me a lot of shame because I perceived everything I did or felt was “wrong” or “bad”. That led me to abandon not only the faith tradition that I grew up in, but my faith in God all together.
Several years ago, I found myself in a spiritual crisis, a dark night of the soul. Life became a struggle, nothing made any sense, nothing had any meaning. I lost my drive, my sense of self, the meaning of living. I had entered the internal ‘desert’ and it had grown to encompass all of my life. Ultimately it was agonizing warfare that led to a faith filled hope that I had never experienced before. During this time I found contemplative prayer and that led me to explore the mystical terrain of the world’s religions. Specifically, these were Indigenous, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism, Confucianism, Buddhism, and Islam. A process of spiritual homemaking began to happen between my soul and its creator and for the first time I felt a true connection with divine grace. I threw myself into studying mystics from all the traditions and found myself creating a very personal theology. I currently practice with an interfaith community where the congregants come from many walks of life, and represent a diversity of spiritual belief and practice.
What does your idea of God look like?
I don’t believe God has a physical form – I believe that God is the Great Spirit, and is found in everything. But ultimately God is in the details.
How does the practice of this religion impact your daily life?
Underlying everything I do is respect for God, an appreciation for the connections among all things, reverence for the Earth and all her creatures, and an emphasis on community life. Through my studies, readings, contemplation and discernment, I have learned much from the global mystics about silence, vision, gratitude, generosity, circles, stories, respect for elders, Earth etiquette, and the art of listening. I look to embody this wisdom over and over again.
Are there certain rituals/traditions within your religion from which you gain particular strength?
YES! I have daily and weekly practices of meditation, contemplative prayer, yoga, recitation of different sacred chants, reading religious or spiritual books, lectio divina, participating in Satsang (prayer meets), performing charitable work, and participating in rituals and ceremonies that honor and groom the spirit.
What are some ways that you attempt to study/learn more about your religion? What books/writings are considered sacred according to your religious tradition?
I attend a variety of inter-spiritual trainings and retreats. Following are a list of books that are essential in my own library:
Emerson’s Essays
Jung’s Collected Works and Memories, Dreams, Reflections
Teilhard de Chardin’s The Divine Milieu
Emily Dickinson’s Letters
Edgar Wind’s Pagan Mysteries in the Renaissance
several translations of the Tao Te Ching
Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot
Shunryu Suzuki’s Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind
James Hillman’s Re-Visioning Psychology
Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis
Bhagavad Gita,
The Upanishads,
William Johnsto
The Still Point: Reflections on Zen and Christian Mysticism
Evelyn Underhill Mysticism
What are the two most fundamental beliefs of your religion? Can you describe them?
I consider all faith and spiritual traditions as paths toward a higher power – One God, along with each expression of God as valuable. I honor each person’s personal path valid for him or her. I don’t believe God expects us to start from zero and reinvent the wheel of faith in our one small lifetime. There are recurring themes and truths within all of the world’s religions. I am grateful to be able to participate in the “communion of saints,” and draw upon the force field of Spirit to cultivate a deeper union with God, with others, and with reality. I trust that any truth that keeps recurring and gathers humanity’s positive energy is called wisdom and most assuredly has to be from God.
However what I learned from my dark night of the soul along with what I learned from my own studies is that religion begins with a relationship with death and the dead. I learned that for me to be religious in my own way, I needed a personal relationship with those who have passed on ahead of me, along with the parts of me that have passed on too.
Since religion is a big part of your job, how do you handle being part of something so sad in someone’s life and how does your religion help you?
I sit with people who are either actively dying, or processing a “death” in their life. I admit, I am one of those unusual types that enjoys being with someone when they are either shattered, or actively dying because I know I am going to be in the presence of Truth. Working with people in this way is like being a midwife for these great rites of passages. To be there fully requires being deeply grounded in compassion and love. Compassion in the sense of becoming who we are – together. I will meditate and become aware of the pain or confusion – we all have limits of tolerance. But I stay as clear and conscious as possible. I am open to the unexpected. By staying centered, my presence helps calm those around me. I go inside myself to this quiet place where I am wisdom, and that is where I find compassion.
I considered these endings or sufferings as invitations – as “graced potentials.” It hurts, it is a deep wound. However this is the crossroads and an individual has a choice. We can resist and deny and merely be delay our pain, or surrender in a healthy way and receive the gifts that rise out of that grief, that wound … intimacy, transformation, compassion, and creativity. But that takes time, sometimes even decades. Being a witness to someone as they travel on their path is a great honor. I have no judgment on how a person should live or die, I am just here to help them transition through the stages of the rite of passage they are currently going through, however they need to do it. My role is just to create a container and hold space for them. I have been a witness to many beautiful moments, but those who are actively dying – those are truly mystical. For the moment when the soul leaves the body is deeply profound and to share consciousness with a person who is dying, to be with them to die consciously, is one of the most exquisite manifestations of service. This is transformational work…it is humbling….and I love it.
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