My reflection marks out a path, a new way of life for me, in which I began a healing process from all the noise and chaos that hindered me from experiencing the steady currents of The Divine that flowed in and through the bittersweet alchemy of daily life. For years now, I have leaned into my calling and have focused on understanding the spiritual journey. My interest in spiritual direction originated from my own experience with my spiritual director, learning and embodying archetypes with Caroline Myss, my work as an End of Life Doula, and my extensive study of the world’s global mystics with Andrew Harvey and Mirabai Starr. My spiritual background was formed in Catholicism; however, I am no longer aligned with any particular institutional religion. My work has me focused on deconstructing rigid religions, and absorbing the teachings of the great mystic saints, in particular the female mystics. My perspective is interspiritual, and I draw inspiration from nature, and the wisdom of the mystical teachings from across the world’s greatest spiritual religions and traditions.
Spiritual Direction
“A spiritual director is one who helps another to recognize and to follow the inspirations of grace in his
life, in order to arrive at the end to which God is leading him…”
Thomas Merton
THE WAY DOWN IS THE WAY UP
Being offered a safe place in which I was able to slow down and begin to listen to myself in the presence of another person who would not invade or abandon me was pivotal in my spiritual formation. For me, that process of slowing down and listening evoked a contemplative experience of Divine’s presence. As I began to deepen my contemplative spiritual practice, there was a light that has shown out from the spiritual worldview of the wisdom traditions that illuminated my path, and I found a desire to follow it. In my own limited way I broke through into a direct realization of The Divine’s oneness with us and with life itself. It has changed me forever. Looking back on my life and through all the crossroads I have encountered, I was able to discern how it has come to this point in which I seek the subtle, interior dimensions of my own healing. Seeing my life from this perspective allows me to appreciate the slow work of God. Through setbacks, bewildering moments and distressing occasions, I have been mysteriously led on a journey not of my own making.
I believe that process, contemplative practice, is at the very heart of healing. Once a person discovers this genuine access to the mystery of their own presence, then they have a base from which they can understand and look at whatever psychological issues they are struggling with. My attention is on what people need to heal, and being a witness to someone as they journey on that path towards self-transformation, spiritual awakening, and ultimately healing.
Spiritual direction offers a safe place for attending to one’s ongoing process of transformation and surrender to God outside the public view and without any other agenda. The phrase “spiritual direction” can be confusing because it is not so much about being directive as it is about being open, receptive, aware of and responsive to the movement of Spirit in the directee’s life. It is understood that The Divine is the true guide and director during this time. As the spiritual director, I tend to the role of companion, bringing awareness, attention, and at times guiding a response to the inner voice of The Divine and the movement of Spirit to support the directee in making a faithful response. I find that when two people sit like that, in that kind of vulnerable openness, they discover they are sitting on holy ground together. That is the transpersonal and contemplative part. As a compassionate companion, I am deeply engaged in listening for the movement of what is holy and eternal.
Are you wrestling with the mysteries of life? Wondering about your spiritual identity? Wanting support for a life crisis or transition? Or maybe you are working through loss, disillusionment, or grief. If so, you may greatly benefit from spiritual direction. Many people feel lost without some sense of contemplation. Spiritual directors assist you with a contemplative practice of discernment that is not about decision-making, although this may be an eventual outcome. Contemplative discernment is receptive in nature, a process of opening our lives and decisions to God and to receive clues about God’s path in our lives. Spiritual directors are trained to listen deeply to a person’s motivations and sort through and purify any mixed motivations. When at a crossroad, it can be helpful to engage in discernment practices with a trained director. Thich Nhat Hanh says if we are not practicing mindfulness, our house is abandoned. Contemplation is the access to the origin of our own being and its inherent holiness. When we are not grounded in some way, we tend to spin out or become unbalanced. This is because we are not rooted into what it means to be alive.
We are each on a spiritual journey that is uniquely our own. As our world continues its descent into chaos and despair, there’s a growing number of people who are searching for something authentic, something that is spiritual, but not necessarily religious. In our secular world, talking about spiritual things and the movement of Spirit in our lives may not be well received or understood. Having a spiritual director to walk that path with us can be a wonderful blessing. I consider it a great privilege to be available as a guide towards a person’s connection to their spiritual heart, their true self, and The Divine in this sacred work.
I offer spiritual direction to anyone who seeks to connect more deeply with the voice of The Divine in their lives and welcome those of any faith tradition, or none at all. I believe all people of any faith, or of no faith tradition, can benefit from asking and listening for the ways in which Spirit is present in their lives.
Spirituality is not the same as religiosity. When utilizing spirituality in this setting, I take into consideration your personal belief system and help you derive a concept of spirituality that is a unique fit. Spirituality, then, is your soul’s interaction and relationship to Spirit, as defined by you. Your religious views (or lack thereof) may or may not be related to your spiritual beliefs, and/or practice.
If you are connected to your spirituality but aren’t comfortable with the notion of organized religion, my door is open to you.
Spiritual direction is not the same thing as therapy, or mentoring, in that these relationships usually focus more on helping clients work on thoughts, emotions, or behaviors that negatively affect one’s life or relationships. Spiritual direction is an ongoing process and does not exist to correct a problem or work through a crisis. On the contrary, in that crisis or problem, spiritual direction will help people experience the mystery and presence of God more deeply. Many times, spiritual direction can feel like psychotherapy, but the focus of direction is always on the directee’s spiritual journey. There is room in a person’s life for a therapist and a spiritual director as people find it helpful to see a therapist to discern the big questions in their lives. However, the approaches of a therapist and a spiritual director will vary greatly in helping someone explore “what is my purpose?”
Locating and interviewing a spiritual director is an important step in your spiritual journey. If you are a seeker, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me. Every spiritual director is different as the combination of training, personality, and experience varies. When looking for a spiritual director, I believe it is important to find someone whose personality and approach connects with you for where you are on your journey.
“At the deepest level, it does not really matter where you seek this path because it is everywhere. So you need to take care of your unfinished business and trust that when you get to the bottom of all of that you will providentially be where you are meant to be…
Dr. James Finley